Don't Kill It

GENERAL INFORMATION

Release Info: 3 March 2017 (Netflix)

Genre:Action, Comedy, Fantasy
Director:Mike Mendez
Writer: Dan Berk and Robert Olsen
Running Time: 83 Minutes

Staring: Dolph Lundgren, Kristina Klebe and a cast of people that I've never heard of and I'm sure you haven't either!

Rating? UNRATED (For a reason)

SPOILERS? YES

REVIEWS

IMDB: 5.2 of 10

MY RATING: 4 of 10

STORYLINE

When an ancient demon is accidentally unleashed in the sparsely populated Mississippi town of Chickory Creek.

MY REVIEW

You know, when there is an UNRATED straight to Netflix movie and I tell myself, "Self, go ahead, they can't be all bad!" I should go ahead and kick myself in the face! I gave one point for Dolph Lundgren and his old ass attempting to be a sexy demon hunter and one additional point for it being JUST stupid enough to be amusing enough to watch until the end. To be honest, it wasn't THAT horrible. It was not pretending to be anything that it was not. It was corny and the dialogue was horrible.

SPOILERS BELOW!!

Let's start with the idea that the main character, played with the devotion of an emotionless automaton by Dolph Lundgren was named JEBEDIAH! The premise is pretty simple. Demon is unleash on a small Mississippi town and when it is killed it takes the body of the one who killed it, hence the title "Don't Kill It." Seems like the writer just took some old myths from the 1500's and injected the plot of Fallen and added a sprinkle of Dolph and a few well endowed actresses and voila!

What I DID LIKE about this movie:

• Bloody violent. Yeah, you heard me. THAT is what I liked about this movie. Mainly because everything else was so mediocre.

What I DID NOT LIKE about this movie:

• Cheesy one-liners galore and most of them fell flat.
• What about that ending? Really
• Hire a technical consultant! I mean seriously, In the first act of the movie, one of the actors is submersed in boiling water and immediately is showing bubbles and boils. Yeah, that's not gonna happen at all!

On a more personal note..... 

Pretty cute pic of Dexter Morgan and Lord Oliver.... AND BRAVES win 2018 NL East!! 

A Quiet Place

GENERAL INFORMATION

Release Info: Opened in the US on 6 April 2018
     Watched in Theaters 14 April 2018 

Director: John Krasinski
Writer: Bryan Woods and Scott Beck
Running Time: 1 hour and 30 Minutes

Staring: Emily Blunt, John Krasinski and Millicent Simmonds

Rating? PG-13

SPOILERS? JUST ONE!!

REVIEWS

IMDB: 8.1 of 10

MY RATING: 4

STORYLINE

A family is forced to live in silence while hiding from creatures that hunt by sound.

MY REVIEW

I saw a lot of hype for this movie on social media. I mean even Chris Pratt posted on Instagram that we should all stop what we are doing and go see this movie. Thanks Star Lord. Thanks for that!

I love a good Sci-Fi/horror/psychological movie and this had the makings to be that movie. I liked the idea that the trailers were purporting. Silence is the only way they can survive. I gave it a shot. Luckily, I went during a matinee so I saved some money. It was a good concept with some disappointing choices

What I DID LIKE about this movie:

• The use of silence was definitely well done with the sound design, camera angle choices and use of the characters motion to further the story. That being said, it DID make the story feel a little longer than it really was.
• Millicent Simmonds was pretty awesome. She really did a great job, in silence, bringing her character to life. 
• I did LIKE how the film did not spend 20-30 minutes explaining what the creatures were and where they came from and just got on with the show. Although it does become a little maddening at a second thought to not really know what brought there here. Are they terrestrial? are they extraterrestrial? Are they a scientific experiment gone terribly wrong? Was this just setting us up for a sequel? (Me thinks the sequel might be the most obvious option)

What I DID NOT LIKE about this movie:

• I WATCH movies. I pay attention and I see things that some do not. There were just too many plot devices used that just didn't make sense to me. I'll try to pass a few over without too many details to ruin the movie for you guys!
• So, the whole idea is that the "creatures" hunt with sound. W learn that the family is living in COMPLETE silence to stay alive. We learn roughly halfway through the movie of a place they go to that apparently blocks out the creatures hearing. Why don't they live there? Wouldn't that be a safer apace to live?
• They have a lot of power for a post-disaster sound hunting creature with no hint of a generator. Hmmmm.
• The nail scene. You'll see what I'm talking about. Carpenters daughter here. I know how nails work. That was not good, art/prop master. Not good at all.
• The rules set in the movie change too often. One sound brings a monster in 10 seconds and another seems not to make a difference. It's maddening at a certain point.
• ONE SPOILER!  Why the HELL would you watch your children in danger in this world gone mad and DECIDE to NOT use every precaution in the world to NOT become pregnant? I am dumbfounded by this fact! 

On a more personal note..... 

Spent some time with the kittens this afternoon. I love the little boogers!

Annihilation

GENERAL INFORMATION

Release Info: 23 Feb 2018

Director: Alex Garland
Writer:Alex Garland and Jeff VanderMeer
Running Time: 1 Hour and 55 Minutes

Staring: Natalie Portman, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Tessa Thompson and Oscar Isaac

Rating? R

SPOILERS? NO 

REVIEWS

IMDB: 7.1 of 10

MY RATING: 4

STORYLINE

A biologist signs up for a dangerous, secret expedition into a mysterious zone where the laws of nature do not apply.

MY REVIEW

My first thought was that I needed to watch this movie again but I really just don't want to.  I just don't know what this movie thought that it was. It wasn't suspense, horror, sci-fi, action.. It didn't fit into any bucket of common connectivity to a specific genre.  Realistically, at the end I just didn't care.

I understand that they might have been going for artistic license, but this was a tad bit shy of the line, It missed the bar.

What I DID LIKE about this movie:

• The CGI was pretty good. It's standard at best, but it was a good part of the movie. 
• Production quality. Its sad that the pieces of this movie that I liked the most are the background pieces.

What I DID NOT LIKE about this movie:

• I was expecting a mid-bending romp through an alternate reality in the "shimmer" from the trailers. What I for was a hoping for was an existential plot that would make me question my own reality. I mean, Jeff Garland was responsible for Ex Machina {Link to my review}that I found to be absolute perfection. What I got was a slow burn that never quite ignited. 
• Mentioned this already, tonally, this was a hot mess. This movie just didn't know what it wanted to be. The story and delivery were muddy at best. It was as if the writers took a smoke break and let someone else finish.
• This was an R RATED movie. Why the hell did all the flashback sex scenes have little nudity or sex for that matter? 

What QUESTIONS do I now have?

• So a bunch of TRAINED MARINES went in and all dies, so let's send in the lady scientists? Yeah, that made sense.

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Listening

GENERAL INFORMATION

Release Info: 11 September 2015
     Netflix 27 September 2016

Writer and Director: Khalil Sullins
Running Time: 100 Minutes

Staring:  Thomas Stroppel, Artie Ahr and Amber Marie Bollinger

Rating? Unrated

SPOILERS? Yeah, but its not THAT good anyway

REVIEWS

IMDB: 5.6 of 10

MY RATING: 4

STORYLINE

A team of genius-but-broke grad students invent mind-reading technology that destroys their lives and threatens the future of free-will itself.

MY REVIEW

When I first saw this title along with the story, I was intrigued. I mean, who has not thought about having the ability to read minds in the past? I know, I have often said that it would just be easier sometimes to just KNOW what people are thinking instead of trying to guess. Yes, of course, the dangers of KNOWING peoples thoughts are plenty. This could have been a good movie. The story was interesting, but not well done. The production design was good, but not above par. The acting was solid, but not high calibre. This was a GREAT study of the the answer to the question, "Would you want to be a telepath?"

What I DID LIKE about this movie:

• Thematic Treasure Trove: There were  great pieces in this movie about surveillance and mind control. The idea that mind control and telepathy could be used as a weapon to control the masses into doing someone else's will is exhilarating. The use cases are multiple especially with military or government access.

What I DID NOT LIKE about this movie:

• First-Time director and writer Khalil Sullins did tinker with some interesting concepts, but the execution is where it fell flat for me.
• There was a little too much pushing the characters at the viewer. It almost felt as if they were trying too hard to make you care about the characters. Example the personal problems of the young married couple, the extensive use of sexual innuendo during the early phases of the testing.

On a more personal note..... Today was baby Rocket's 8 Month Birthday! He's such a handsome baby boy!! He's growing up so fast! A little selfie in the afternoon and then started a new piece of art. It's not quite done, but it's coming along nicely.

The Dead Room

GENERAL INFORMATION

Release Info: 8 April 2016
     Netflix on 8 Spet 2016

Director: Jason Sutter
Writer: Jason Sutter and Kevin Stevens
Running Time: 80 Minutes

Staring:  Jed Brophy, Jeffrey Thomas and Laura Peterson

Rating? N/A

SPOILERS? Yes-ish  

REVIEWS

IMDB: 4.7 of 10

MY RATING: 4

STORYLINE

When a terrified family flees a desolate southern New Zealand farmhouse, two cynical scientists and a young psychic are sent to investigate their claims of a haunting. There they encounter a powerful spirit that will protect the house's secrets at all costs.

MY REVIEW

So, I was a little excited to see this movie. I know it was based on an urban legend about a farmhouse in Otago, NZ where two science teachers in the 70's  tried to debunk the haunted house and ended up fleeing the scene. (CLICK HERE to read the article in Stuff.com) That in itself was interesting to me.  I love a good debunking story!! This was not going to be that awesome movie for me. It was good, but not great. Lacking in some essential pieces.

What I DID LIKE about this movie:

• I think they did a pretty good job with the small budget ($) and mediocre writing.
• It was good, not great, no blood. Easy for some

What I DID NOT LIKE about this movie:

• Just too agonizingly slow!! I mean, if it were slow with an excellent story it would have been forgiven, but this was not that!
• It's pretty generic and unscary and lacking in any sense of suspense. There was no foreshadowing. I guessed the plot as i was watching. 
• There is absolutely no chemistry between the characters. They were unbelievable at best.

On a more personal note..... Ah, my little guy, Dexter Morgan, has some serious separation anxiety I think. He just does not not to be away from me these days. He's about 14.5 months old and I've been super cuddly with him since day one! I did some baking this afternoon as well. I think the apron in the middle picture says it all. I finished the 2nd in the series of Italy. The Colosseum. I remember the first day that I ever say it back in November of 2005.. Love that memory!

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The Purge: Election Year

GENERAL INFORMATION

Release Info: 1 July 2016
     Watched 5 August 2016

Writer and Director: James DeMonaco
Running Time: 205 Minutes

Staring:  Frank Grillo, Elizabeth Mitchell, Mykelti Williamson, Kyle Secor and Betty Gabriel

Rating? R

SPOILERS? YES

REVIEWS

IMDB: 6.2 of 10

MY RATING: 4

STORYLINE

It's been two years since Leo Barnes (Frank Grillo) stopped himself from a regrettable act of revenge on Purge Night. Now serving as head of security for Senator Charlie Roan (Elizabeth Mitchell), his mission is to protect her in a run for president and survive the annual ritual that targets the poor and innocent. But when a betrayal forces them onto the streets of D.C. on the one night when no help is available, they must stay alive until dawn...or both be sacrificed for their sins against the state.

MY REVIEW

So, the first Purge told the story of a family and their attempt to survive the annual Purge. The second was pretty good and was really the telling of an all-night adventure with some lack-luster ideas, but still good.  Had high hopes for the third installment, and was let down. Most of the performances are well done however the weak character maturity is the ultimate downfall. This is not a horror movie by any means.

What I DID LIKE about this movie:

• The IDEA of the story. Senator with good ideas trying to take control from people who have no respect for the PEOPLE!

What I DID NOT LIKE about this movie:

• In the first act, the scenes with the thieving schoolgirls falls flat. Leading into the second act where the girl shows back up at the store after saying that she killed her parents to "get revenge" on the store owner sho stopped her from stealing a candy bar? Please! That is so weak that I just can't explain. Shaking my head! It was merely to show some pretty girls in some trashy outfits, which I can definitely get behind in most cases, but this was dumb! 
• Absolute rubbish for character development. We know Leo Barnes (Frank Grillo) who was in the second and we are well aware of his story. Everyone else is just trash! Specifically, the store clerk who is repeatedly heard saying how bad the Purge is and how it should and he wants nothing to do with it, summarily executes six teenagers with no hesitation.
• Seemed like the "Purgers" were more ganglike (A'la the Warriors) and not the original handful of people just killing for fun like the last two movies. 
• The idea of "Tourist-Murder". Did not like that at all. 

On a more personal note..... Did a lot today for a Friday! I spent some time at 1701VB Co-Working Space. It's nice to have a space to collaborate with others and work with some amazing people while job-hunting. I am so proud of my friend Lisa who has spent years sharing her great ideas and it's absolutely amazing to see this one come to fruition! I am so happy to see her success! After that, had lunch with some of the greatest people on the planet (Missy, Chris and Cole, well and Chris' son Sheamus was a highlight!) I don't think there is a better group of people to enjoy sushi with!! Lastly, I hung out with baby Rocket. He was helping me play the QuizUp Trivia game. By helping, I mean trying to grab the mouse pointer on the screen. He's super cute, but not so helpful! I actually believe that he's made me lose a few times! I love him anyway!

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The Honeymoon

GENERAL INFORMATION

Release Info: 21 Sept 2014
     Netflix 17 July 2016

Director: Leigh Janiak
Writer: Phil Graziadei and Leigh Janiak
Running Time: 87 Minutes

Staring:  Rose Leslie, Harry Treadway, Ben Huber and Hanna Brown

Rating? R

SPOILERS? YES!

REVIEWS

IMDB: 5.6 of 10

MY RATING: 4

STORYLINE

Young newlyweds Paul and Bea travel to remote lake country for their honeymoon. Shortly after arriving, Paul finds Bea wandering and disoriented in the middle of the night. As she becomes more distant and her behavior increasingly peculiar, Paul begins to suspect something more sinister than sleepwalking took place in the woods.

MY REVIEW

Let's be honest about why I chose to watch this movie. Rose Leslie. I loved her as Ygritte on Game of Thrones. I think I heard about it a while back, but never really watched until now. The husband, played by Harry Treadway was in a ton of British TV and Penny Dreadful as Dr. Frankenstein... I didn't read any reviews prior to watching and I thought the premise was interesting but the lack of realism is what brought this from a  passable movie to a 4 of 10.

What I DID LIKE about this movie:

• Rose Leslie and Harry Treadway did the best that they could with this lackluster script and somewhat shaky direction.  I loved them in their roles as much as I hated the story.
• TONS of SEX! Yeah, judge me if you want, but I like that part!

What I DID NOT LIKE about this movie:

• This was a DULL story with little bits of interesting tossed in for good measure. 
• Unbelievable dialogue is what kicked this in the ass for me. I get that they are supposed to be newlyweds,  but the overly effusive and verbiage is in some places just too much for me to handle!  It was a distraction more than a plot strengthener.
• This is NOT a horror movie. If they truly were trying for horror, they failed on so many levels! Science fiction would have been a better choice, but yes, they may have not attracted the viewers they wanted with that label, but it would have been honest. It's heavy on the science and light on the fiction. Utterly sad.
• Lack of true foreshadowing and oddly placed lines with no resolution or completion of thoughts hat's just really make the watcher feel uncomfortable. Nothing really made sense in the final reveal at the end. What the hell was that? That wasn't an ending!

On a more personal note.....Today was a pretty good day! I've been trying to get back to running after many years of not keeping up. It was too hot today so I went to Planet Fitness and quote nearly hit my goal of a 10 minute mile!! I had to pause to take a pic of the screen at 1 mile. Yes, folks, that says 10:06. I was a few seconds off!! Next time!! And, after that, I came home and there is a curtain on the master bedroom door and I swung it over the guest room door to sweep the floor and SOMEHOW, Rocket made his way up there! He's a 6 Month old genius!

The Girl in the Photographs

GENERAL INFORMATION

Release Info: 1 April 2015
     Netflix 7 July 2016

Director: Nick Simon
Writer: Osgood Perkins, Robert Morast and Nick Simon
Running Time: 98 Minutes

Staring:  Kal Penn, Claudia Lee, Kenny Wormald

Rating? R

SPOILERS? Yeah

REVIEWS

IMDB: 4.5 of 10

MY RATING: 4

STORYLINE

A bored young woman in a sleepy community called Spearfish starts receiving photographs of brutally murdered young women. Are they real or staged? The culprit is either a serial killer or some creep with a sick sense of humour.

MY REVIEW

This was not a BAD movie. By no means was it great either! I do admit that I gave this movie a 4 for a reason. It could have been a 6 except for the tired number of cliches that were numerous! As a horror movie fanatic, I can point out the obvious rather quickly.

What I DID LIKE about this movie:

• Some of the acting. Claudia Lee and Kenny Wormald to be exact, was pretty good. Claudia Lee is the secondary character and she was not bad. I think she was able to act her way through with finesse. She was a good damsel in distress.
• Kal Penn. Oh Kal! I think you did a pretty decent job with this. He is appropriately full of himself and over the top. 
• Great cinematography!! Filming and editing were aces!
• Death Scenes were pretty spot on!!

What I DID NOT LIKE about this movie:

• This movie is RIDDLED with cliches! Just so many!  So, anytime there is a girl walking with another girl who offered to driver her to her car so "the killers don't get her" is gonna get murdered. Easy. Every time. When the girl goes to the cops to report the dastardly deeds, the cops don't believe her. Yep. That ALWYAS happens! Just too much!
• The baddie was just weird. Not weird creepy, but just odd. He just didn't have that video for me to be the one killing people the whole time. 
• Lack of suspense! They just about told you what they were planning on doing before they did it!
• Too conventional for a slasher movie, the twists weren't twisty enough.
• The director, Nick Simon, was also responsible for "The Pyramid" which I found to be pretty terrible. The writers were Oz Perkins (Son of Anthony Perkins) and Robert Morass.  I think they need to take the blame for the low rating.
• Supporting cast! BOO!!

On a more personal note..... Had some Jinx time after work. He was awesome and wanted to sit with me while I was watching Shark Tank!! Gave Rocket a little weight check to see if he was getting close to 4 pounds.. FINALLY! He's 4 pounds! AND then, Isabella got into the catnip!

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The Conjuring 2

GENERAL INFORMATION

Release Info: 10 June 2016

Director: James Wan
Writer: Carey Hayes and Chad Hayes
Running Time: 2 Hours and 14 Minutes

Staring:  Vera Farminga, Patrick Wilson, Madison Wolfe

Rating? R

SPOILERS? Yes, sorry about that!

REVIEWS

IMDB: 8 of 10

MY RATING: 4

STORYLINE

In 1977, paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren travel to London, England, where single mother Peggy Hodgson believes that something evil is in her home. When Peggy's youngest daughter starts showing signs of demonic possession, Ed and Lorraine attempt to help the besieged girl, only to find themselves targeted by the malicious spirits.

MY REVIEW

I'd like to begin with stating the obvious. I LOVE horror movies, the scarier the better. What I have never been a big fan of are the ones that boast the tagline-- "Based on a True Story." I absolutely, positively HATE that!! I have been interested in the paranormal and all things that make the claim of haunted for as long as I can remember. Not for the obvious reasons, mind you, but for one that is not. I do not believe in ghosts, spirits etc. I am curious about those who claim to be living in thee types of situations and the ones who make money exploiting them. I have NEVER seen a credible piece of evidence that CANNOT be explained by some sort of version of Occam's Razor.  I feel like that needed to be said before you read my review, because a lot of the things that I dislike are perpetuated within this movie.

What I DID LIKE about this movie:

• I do give James Wan directoral prowess a nod for the decision to blur Janet's face in the scene where Patrick Wilson tries to have a chat with the ghost of old man Bill. That was brilliant. I think that was most likely the one pure perfection that the movie had for this viewer!

What I DID NOT LIKE about this movie:

• I'd like to begin with the blatant and mind-numbingly direct marketing pitch for what I can only assume is the Conjuring 3 which may appear in Theaters as soon as they're done raking in the dough from this one. The Amityville house in which Ed and Lorraine Warren were shown visiting was a KNOWN hoax and they continued to claim the opposite even after the family who made the claims recanted and admitted that they made the whole thing up. Yes, it was the site of a horrible tragedy where an entire family lost their lives, but haunted, I think not. It has nothing to do with the supposed Enfield Poltergeist other than the inclusion of the demon hunting Jesus-freaks, the Warrens. {Amityville Debunked} {Times Ed and Lorraine Warren were proven as Frauds}
• I am a huge fan of jump scares and whomever happens to go to the movie with me during those scenes is gonna get a pretty good squeeze because even though I can see them coming a mile away, I am still gonna jump. Guaranteed. What I did not like was that each jump scare was accompanied by odd musical timing or some sort of loud noise that just made it too much.
• As an atheist, I think the overuse of the idea that evil can be combated with pure and true religion just grates on my nerves. Too many crucifixes. The idea that the demon or whatever it was, manifested as a creepy nun. I think at one point during the movie, I was just bored enough to work on the plot for my next book!!
• Theres nothing in this movie that has not been done before, and done better. James Wan should know better. It feels like he just copied and pasted a bunch of crap together into a script and made the characters and time fit into it for the film. No bueno! I was not impressed.

On a more personal note..... I can't wear these headphones all of the time at work!! It's not realistic to have them on all day. I know the phone rings through them, but I am a social person! I need to hear the conversations around me.  So, today, I came up with this genius idea and turned the volume up almost all of the way and used my envelope sorter to hold them. Made sense to me!! It was pretty awesome! I just might be a genius!! Rocket got to spend some time in the back garden today. He hung out in the grass for about 5 whole minutes!

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