Blair Witch

GENERAL INFORMATION

Release Info: 16 September 2016

Director: Adam Wingard
Writer: Simon Barrett
     Both known for V/H/S & You're Next (my reviews)
Running Time: 89 Minutes

Staring:  James Allen McCune, Callie Hernandez, Corbin Reid, Brandon Scott, Wes Robinson and Valorie Curry.

Rating? R

SPOILERS? NO

REVIEWS

IMDB: 5.8 of 10

MY RATING: 6

STORYLINE

After discovering a video showing what he believes to be his sister's experience in the demonic woods of the Blair Witch, James and a group of friends head to the forest in search of his lost sibling, Heather.

MY REVIEW

This was not a bad movie. It wasn't great either. I think it falls short in some places and excels in others. The original Blair Witch Project came out in 1999 and in that short 17 years most everyone has gotten over the "found footage" and grown annoyed by the shaky-cam style of film-making. I am in that group. I think this was less of a sequel and more of a redux.  If you are going to see this movie, go see it in the theaters, the big shots and the sound design is best experienced in this setting. But know this.. If you're going in expecting a new and original movie, that is NOT what you are going to get.

What I DID LIKE about this movie:

• This was a slow build to some pretty decent scares. I think that taking time to let the audience get to know the cast and develop themselves into complete people was a wise choice. (Still, some of this was cliche, see below)
• The forest was well used as a character instead of a setting. It was dense and really set the idea that finding the way out would be an issue. The woods are inhumanly quiet at times leaving a very uneasy feeling.
• The sound design was AMAZING!
• There is a scene, which I will not specify, that left me holding tight to the chair, taking deep breaths because of the claustrophobically spectacular events. It did go on a bit too long for me, but it was amazing!
• I loved  James Allen McCune's character, James. He did a brilliant job. 

What I DID NOT LIKE about this movie:

• Cliche!! There was just a little too much for me in some parts. Like seriously, the idea that the first person to talk shit about the supposed ghost/witch is the first guy to die. That's like the prerequisite for every horror more, EVER!!
• A few too many jump scares for the simple fact of adding in a scare. Unnecessary.
• Hold the god-damed camera steady people!

On a more personal note..... Baby Dexter was adorable, again! I put on a ton of make up and did my hair all fancy to go to this movie... AND finally finished my first commissioned piece! Finished the matting tonight and will deliver tomorrow and get paid for art for the first time!!

They're Watching

GENERAL INFORMATION

Release Info: 26 March 2016
     Netflix on 9 Sept 2016

Writers and Directors: Jay Lender and Micah Wright

Running Time: 95 Minutes

Staring:  Mia Faith, Kris Lemche, David Alpay and Brigid Brannagh

Rating? Unrated

SPOILERS? YES

REVIEWS

IMDB: 5.7 of 10

MY RATING: 5

STORYLINE

The renovation of an old house in a village somewhere in Eastern Europe, will bring the crew of an American home improvement TV show, up against superstitions, misunderstandings and bloody violence.

MY REVIEW

Horror and Humor so sometimes go hand in hand and in this film, it worked in some ways and it fell flat in others. It was a pretty interesting idea for a movie and it genuinely kept me guessing. I have to give them credit for an original plot! It can be best described as a really good bad movie.

What I DID LIKE about this movie:

• I LOVED how they used the House Hunters International theme at the beginning. I was immediately drawn in and smiled. 
• Originality!! Well done!
• It's a slow-play horror. Takes some time to get going.  

What I DID NOT LIKE about this movie:

• The cheesy humor is played on especially thick at times. I could've done with less.
• Despise "Found Footage" style movies.
• Over the top acting.
• Terrible CGI. (Low budget)

On a more personal note..... Baby Dexter and Isabella enjoyed a little time in the backyard today. Bella is less concerned with having her photo taken as Dexter seems to be. He loves it! Then Dex helped me with some art.. I finished the 3rd in the Series of Italy.. Florence. I remember standing in front of the Duomo a few years ago taking in all the sights and sounds of Florence. Then we went over to the Ponte Vecchio and had a 7 euro ice cream cone! Ah, memories!!

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The Sacrament

GENERAL INFORMATION

Release Info: 1 May 2014

     Netflix on 31 Aug 2016

Writer and Director: Ti West (Known for V/H/S, The House of the Devil and The Innkeepers)
Running Time: 99 Minutes

Staring:  Kentucker Audley, Amy Seimetz, AJ Bowen, Joe Swanberg and Gene Jones

Rating? R

SPOILERS? YES

REVIEWS

IMDB: 6.1 of 10

MY RATING: 2

STORYLINE

Journalist Patrick (Kentucker Audley) works at the VICE, a company dedicated to cover bizarre news. When his sister Caroline (Amy Seimetz) joins a community, she travels abroad with her new family. Out of the blue, Caroline invites her brother to visit her in an undefined country and Patrick travels by helicopter with his friends Jake (Joe Swanberg)and Sam (AJ Bowen) that work with him at VICE. They find weird that the men that have come to guide them to the Eden Parish have guns. On the arrival to the camp, Patrick, Sam and Jake find a community of happy people that worship Father. (Gene Jones) They interview Father but soon they realize that people are not as happy as they seem to be. Further, they find that they are trapped in the Parish Eden and they want to leave the place with the newcomers. But the Father does not have intention to let them go.

MY REVIEW

I am a student of history and specifically interested in the history of crime and criminals. This leads to me the heart of my review. This is nothing more than reimagining an actual horrific event. About 10 minutes in, I was well aware that this was going to be a Jonestown facsimile. I feel like this was deliberately retold in THIS specific way to introduce the altered storyline to a younger audience.  This is truly ineffective as a horror thriller.

What I DID LIKE about this movie:

• Nothing really redeeming about this movie. Not even any eye-candy for me to lust after!

What I DID NOT LIKE about this movie:

• This story was frightening enough on it's own. For me, I just found the story too obvious. I could see the twists before they even were shown on the screen. I think it's because I know the story of Jonestown.
• Shaky-cam SUCKS!!

On a more personal note..... Got up this morning and noticed that baby Rocket J. has gotten soon big. He was drinking water next to Jinxie and he just didn't look like the little 7 month old baby that he used to be yesterday! Then, I got ready and went to have a spot of lunch with my bestie, Missy at the Hair of the Dog Eatery. I had an amazing buffalo chicken sandwich and she had chicken and waffles with candied bacon. I don't think either of us will be hungry for dinner. THEN, got a little something for my hair.. PINK HIGHLIGHTS!! So fun!! And finally, I finished this piece yesterday! I am getting better at face coloration and shapes. Hopefully, I can keep it up! I've been 

enjoying the distraction!!

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Creep

GENERAL INFORMATION
Release Info: 23 June 2015
Running Time: 1 hour 22 Minutes
Staring:  Patrick Brice and Mark Duplass
Rating? R
SPOILERS? Yes, sorry about that!

REVIEWS
IMDB: 6.2 of 10
MY RATING: 9
(almost gave it a 10)

STORYLINE

When a videographer answers a Craigslist ad for a one-day job in a remote mountain town, he finds his client is not at all what he initially seems.

MY REVIEW:

I love wolves. because they love deeply, but they don't 

know how to express it, and they're often very violent and, quite frankly, murder the things that they love, and inside of the wolf is this beautiful heart.--Josef

That line stood out to me. Loved it!! I am happy that I watched this movie. I quite nearly didn't. It's a little gem that I found in a sea of garbage that is typically available in the Horror/Thriller genre. So the idea of this movie was pretty unique.  A freelance videographer gets a job to go film a man in his everyday life for 8 hours for $1000.00. The strait forward plot is the films strongest aspect.

You learn about both of these guys along the way, and they have a bizarre chemistry between them.

Josef and Aaron are awesome as the Creepy odd couple that got me hooked from the first minute.

Mark Duplass played this role to perfection as he slowly let out the crazy in the smallest increments where at certain points, it was indeterminate if he were really crazy. You don't see many performances like this in found footage films. Brice’s character has a little less to work with but he plays the part well. I wasn't always convinced that his actions in certain situations were believable. I mean, there are red flags all over the place and he still sticks with the guy. They do incorporate his trusting personality and nice guy attitude in to his actions. He's just a guy that feels bad for Josef and wants to give him the benefit of the doubt. The situation twists and turns through the whole film, and there are some genuine scares and creepy moments throughout. 

What I loved?

• Black Humor. There are some seriously hilarious moments but the movie never loses its sense of tension. I've seen the idea of the creepy stalker in so many movies in the past: Hand that Rocks the Cradle, The Cable Guy... This one really sets the viewer on the edge for the whole movie.
• The Actors: Josef played by Mark Duplass (from such gems as The League, Safety Not Guaranteed and Zero Dark Thirty) and Aaron pled by Patrick Brice (THAT GUY  -----> I do love a gingery-blond!!) I had never really heard of him until this movie was he was amazing! They were able to make it watchable and uncomfortable at the same time. It was an effective way to keep the Creep in this creepy movie. PLUS, he was the director!
• I love how this movie expects more from the average horror movie fan. This required thought and attention that most do not. I enjoyed not being led through a movie but having to lead myself through. I found that quite attractive.
• Found-footage style WITHOUT the shaky cam!! (Thanks!)
• The END!! I absolutely loved the climax. It was so simple and yet had such an amazing impact on the film that it was near perfect!! (Maybe Creep 2?)

What I did not love?

• Just wish the pacing were a little smoother. It's a simple plot, but it does at times feel a bit rough, but that could just be me!

The suspense is so delightfully intense and the performances are so well fleshed out, that the pacing can be forgiven. This is a top notch found footage film that truly made my skin crawl. Kudos to the film maker for deciding to simply call it Creep. Perfect title

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Unfriended

GENERAL INFORMATION

Release Info: 17 April 2015

Director: Levan Gabriadze
Writer: Nelson Greaves
Running Time: 83 Minutes

Staring:  Heather Sossaman, Matthew Bohrer and Courtney Halverson

Rating? R

SPOILERS? YES

REVIEWS

IMDB: 5.9 of 10

MY RATING: 1, only because my ranking doesn't go to below 0!

STORYLINE

A group of online chat room friends find themselves haunted by a mysterious, supernatural force using the accent of their dead friend.

MY REVIEW

I love a good horror movie. They generally don't scare me, but I love the adrenaline and the surprising bits that make you jump in your seat.

If I had known that this entire film would be "as seen through the eyes of a Skype" screen cast, I would have likely bowed out gracefully and went along my merry way. I did not. I paid, well, we paid our $12 each to sit in a lovely theater and watch this hot pile of garbage!

What I DID LIKE about this movie:

• This would have made a damn good movie idea if only written/directed by someone who knew what the hell they were doing!!
• The idea of using social media as a catalyst to propel the point of the movie was interesting. It's about someone putting a not so flattering video of a girl online and then she kills herself. That in itself gave it the one and only reason that I actually decided to do this review!

What I DID NOT LIKE about this movie:

• This is NOT a HORROR film!
• The characters were no where near cultivated and interesting. That IS the one piece in horror that MUST be correct. There has to be at least one person who is redeemable. To make that, you have to have empathy for them. This was not the case. There was no empathy built for these group of idiots at all. I could care less if they all died. I would have rather had them all die in the first scene so I could get my night back!

On a more personal note..... Got some awesome selfie time with my little Isabella. Terry and I drove to Newport News and I played Plants vs. Zombies and finally, Jinxie sat and watched Avatar for like 20 minutes.

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Project Almanac

GENERAL INFORMATION
Release Info: Theatrical Debut 30 Jan 2015
Running Time: 106 Minutes
Staring:  Jonny Weston, Sofia Black-D'Elia, Sam Lerner, Allen Evangelists, etc.
Rating? PG-13
SPOILERS? Yes-ish

REVIEWS
IMDB: 6.3 of 10
Rotten Tomatoes: Critics: 34% Audience: 47%
MY RATING: 4 of 10.



MY REVIEW:
I am NOT a fan of shaky-cam style of filmmaking. I for one find myself getting angry that the motion is just too obviously shaky. Seriously, just pay someone to hold the camera still!!

This movie had great POTENTIAL to be amazing with the subject matter.  For me, there were way too many plot sidesteps that always lost me interest.

I'm gonna put on my old-woman hat and ask the real question that was going through my mind the whole time. WHERE WERE THEIR PARENTS? Seriously!!

So, yes, this is about a bunch of super-smart kids building a time machine with a Prius and a metric ton of car batteries. That being said, the first thing they say is that going back in time is not about money, but the first thing they do is go and win the lottery? Really? I guess so, since they are kids. They say they want to make a change to better mankind. What to they do? They go to a concert, skip school, pass failed tests, get a girlfriend, etc.

Just not enough to redeem this movie. 4 is the highest that I can go.

The Houses October Built

GENERAL INFORMATION

Release Info: 10 October 2014 

Genre: Horror, Thriller
Director: Bobby Roe
Writer:Zack Andrews and Bobby Roe
Running Time:  91 Minutes

Staring: Brandy Schaefer, Zack Andrews and Bobby Roe

Rating? NOT RATED

SPOILERS? YES

REVIEWS

IMDB: 5 of 10

MY RATING: 3 of 10

STORYLINE

Beneath the fake blood and cheap masks of countless haunted house attractions across the country, there are whispers of trust terrifying alternatives. Looking to find an authentic, blood-curdling good fright for Halloween, five friends set off on a road trip in an RV to track down these underground haunts. Just when their search seems to reach a dead end, strange and disturbing things start happening and it becomes clear that the Haunt has come to them...

MY REVIEW

I should know better to watch an UNRATED horror movie expecting anything other than a pre-teen scare for slumber parties! Not a complete and utter failure, but it was damn close!!

Everything about this movie is just a hair away from being too cliche and too predictable. The plot had a great idea and failed to bring it to life. Seeing as how I have an irrational fear of clowns, this was disturbing solely on that factor, but if you're not like me, then this will likely fall very flat. Maybe with a a bigger budget, a re-write, and a few known actors, AND A COMPETENT ending... this may have worked.

What I DID LIKE about this movie:

• DIRECTION- While certain aspects of the Director's work are good,  it's not PERFECT and it's not terrible. Could have spent a little more time coaching the actors to get a good or better performance. I needed to bring at least one good thing to the review!
• COSTUME DESIGN- THIS! This was pretty good. Like I say above, I am not a big fan of clowns and therefore just really don't want to look. The makeup department responsible for the make-up, masks and special effects was beyond amazing. Afton Adams, Christian Lau and  David Monzingo. You guys deserve come major credit for creating the most disturbing character design in this porcelain doll make-up shown here. Wow, just wow. David Monzingo has a laundry list of special effects gold under his belt and they were lucky to have him.
• SET DESIGN- Creepy, but generic. Acceptable.

What I DID NOT LIKE about this movie:

• EDITING- I spent the first hour waiting semi-patiently for something to happen. It's a simple rule of three acts and by the end of the second, you have to see some sort of high point to come down from by the mid-point of act three. That was missing for me here. I waited for a tediously and DULL ending! 
• CINEMATOGRAPHY- I DESPISE SHAKY CAM!! Seriously, should have just dumped that idea and hired a real gaffer and camera man and made a better/ stronger movie with a great ending!
• WRITING- Well, much like my points above, it was a great idea that fell short. Could have been so much better. Again, this is my opinion! It felt like they should have just made a documentary about haunted houses, but wait, the writer and director did that already did that. Nice try Bobby Roe, how about you stick to baseball.
• SCORE/SOUNDTRACK- forgettable.

As Above, So Below

GENERAL INFORMATION
Release Info: 29 August 2014
Running Time: 93 Minutes
Staring:  Perdita Weeks, Ben Feldman, Edwin Hodge, etc
Rating? R
SPOILERS? YES. But it's horrible, so you shouldn't see it anyway!

REVIEWS
IMDB: 6.1 of 10
Rotten Tomatoes: Critics: 27% Audience: 40%
MY RATING: 1 of 10

MY REVIEW:
I don't give out 1's in my reviews too often but this deserves every iota of that 1!

I love scary movies, I know, I say that all the time. That's just because I go to a lot of scary/horror movies and most of them are suck-tactic. I just want you to know that I am not just a glutton for punishment. I see them with a hopeful heart that modern day screen writers will come up with something new and awesome.

This one fell so far from the mark that I could not believe I stayed for the whole movie. I think it was just to see if anything got better in the end. Nope. I know I'm not the only one who watches these things and says in my head for the cast not to go in there or not to open that door. This was just a cacophony of ridiculous events one after another.

So, there's a catacomb with some scary Dante's Inferno line... "Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here." That line should have been made available to the watcher. Then they go down into the catacombs and stuff happens. Not awesome scary stuff, but stuff.

This was catastrophically horrible.

The Devil's Pass

GENERAL INFORMATION
Release Info: 28 Feb 2013
Running Time: 100 Minutes
Staring:  Holly Goss, Matt Stokoe, Luke Albright
Rating? R
SPOILERS? NO

REVIEWS
IMDB: 5.7 of 10
Rotten Tomatoes: Critics: 53% Audience: 29%
MY RATING: 5

STORYLINE
Devils Pass follows a group of  American Students on a trek to investigate the true life mystery of nine Russian skiers who befell unexpected deaths int eh Russian Mountain Pass, Dyatlov, in 1959. TO this day, their deaths have been one of the most bizarre unsolved mysteries of the 20th Century.

MY REVIEW:
I am a history buff and had read about eh Dyatlov Pass several years ago so this movie sounded like something that I would be interested in seeing. I did give it a 5 of 10 just for the simple fact that there were some sections that just could not be looked over.

It's not a "found footage" film, but the camera work is really interesting. I liked the angle that they were going for. It was different and interesting and a little odd. Like I said, i know some about the incident from 1959, and decided that the best way to deal with facts in this case is to put them all aside and just watch. That was the best choice.

There are some good aspects. The filming is beautiful. I would love to see that location in real life. Decent acting and the writing was pretty well done even through the weird story plot twists and turns.

The story does do some back-and-forth and leaves a lot of loose ends. Maybe a little too much Russian Fear than I would prefer.

Overall, I enjoyed the movie enough to watch it again. Watch it for what it is and do your own research about Dyatlov.

V/H/S

GENERAL INFORMATION
Release Info: 31 Aug 2012 (Straight to Video)
Running Time: 116 Minutes
Staring:  Calvin Reeder, Lane Hughes, Adam Wingard
Rating? R
SPOILERS? YES

REVIEWS
IMDB: 5.8 of 10
MY RATING: 7 of 10

STORYLINE
When a group of misfits is hired by an unknown third party to burglarize a desolate house and acquire a rare VHS Tape, they discover more found footage than they bargained for.

MY REVIEW:
There is no in-between for this movie. You will either find it interesting and delightful or a sack of crap.

I was reluctant to watch but decided to go ahead. First of all, it was not the typical movie that you come across. It was new and interesting. Odd maybe. But it works.  It definitely feels that it doesn't have a storyline or a plot, but it seems to work in this case. A bit too much shaky cam for me, but I have never been a big fan.

It was different and enjoyable and unique.

Chernobyl Diaries

GENERAL INFORMATION
Release Info: 25 May 2012
Running Time: 86 Minutes
Staring:  Jesse McCartney, Jonathan Sadowski, Olivia Taylor Dudley..
Rating? R
SPOILERS? YES

REVIEWS
IMDB: 5 of 10
Rotten Tomatoes: Critics: 19% Audience: 28%
MY RATING: 2

MY REVIEW:
First thing: I really only wanted to see this movie for one reason. Jesse McCartney. Ever since I saw the video of his song Leavin'. (LINK TO THE VIDEO)

I was infatuated with this guy! He's freaking adorable!! So basically, I wanted to see it because he was in it... That was likely not a wonderful choice, since he was not really an actor. He tried. :) I have to give him
credit for that!!

Second thing: I think this movie was a horrible insult to the victims of the Chernobyl Disaster.

It started off pretty decent however, my pet peeve was present with the dreaded hand-held- shaky-cam crap! I hate that stuff! As soon as they get lost at the site, you know it's not going to end up a happy time for these guys!

The timeline is horrible. One minute they are in the sun and five minutes later its dark as midnight. Five minutes to get away from the truck and hours to get back. No sense.

The moment with the mutant zombie things come out, I am absolutely done with this movie. What the hell?!?! This is just a dumb idea.  I thought it was a pretty decent pile of garbage. I love Jesse McCartney, but that was just enough to get a 2 instead of a 1.

Grave Encounters

GENERAL INFORMATION
Release Info: 9 Sept 2011
Running Time: 92 Minutes
Staring:  Ben Wilkinson, Sean Rogerson, Ashleigh Gryzko
Rating? NOT RATED
SPOILERS? NO

REVIEWS
IMDB: 6.1 of 10
MY RATING: 4

STORYLINE
For their ghost hunting reality tv show, a production crew locks themselves into an abandoned metal hospital that's supposedly haunted - and they might prove it to be true.

MY REVIEW:
Mediocre might be an overstatement with this movie. I wanted to like it, but let's be serious, a scary movie that's UNRATED. It was written well, but with sub-par acting and shitty direction, it was pretty revolting.

I never felt even a twinge of anticipation, no jumps, no big scares. The atmosphere was pretty good. Set design was well done, but the ghosts and the effects were the downfall of it all!

Creepy, but otherwise un-noteworthy.

Apollo 18

GENERAL INFORMATION
Release Info: 2 September 2011
Running Time: 86 Minutes
Staring:  Warren Christie, Lloyd Owen, Ryan Robbins
Rating? PG-13
SPOILERS? NO

REVIEWS
IMDB: 5.2 of 10
MY RATING: 7

STORYLINE
Decades old found footage from NASA's abandoned Apollo 18 Mission, where two American astronauts were sent on a secret expedition, reveals the reason the US has never returned to the moon.

MY REVIEW:
For a found-footage movie, this was pretty decent. I appreciated the movie in spite of the found footage style of which I am not a huge fan!

There was something interesting about the concept and the story. I appreciated the sense of dread that was one of the pieces that made this a success.