Alien: Covenant

GENERAL INFORMATION

Release Info: 19 May 2017

Director: Ridley Scott
Writer: Dan O'Bannon 
Running Time: 2 Hours and 2 Minutes

Staring:  Michael Fassbender, Katherine Waterston, Billy Crudup and Danny McBride

Rating? R

SPOILERS? YES, sorry, not sorry.

REVIEWS

IMDB: 6.8 of 10

RT: Critics: 71%; Audience: 60% 
MY RATING: 3

STORYLINE

Set after the Movie Prometheus (Link to my review)

The crew of the colony ship Covenant, bound for a remote planet on the far side of the galaxy, discovers what they think is an uncharted paradise, but is actually a dark, dangerous world. When they uncover a threat beyond their imagination, they must attempt a harrowing escape.

MY REVIEW

I wanted to LIKE this movie. I did. I mean, I enjoyed the Alien series and I gave Prometheus an 8.5 on the Michelle scale of awesome! I think I'd describe this movie as Alien meets Idiocracy!

What I DID LIKE about this movie:

• Cinematography- There were some beautiful shots here. This is the only reason this movie received the 3 rating that I gave! The space shots, the landscape of the alien planet.  Take out some of the ridiculous CG, and it would have been amazing!

What I DID NOT LIKE about this movie:

• Basic Stupidity- These were supposed to be scientists, colonists, astronauts, marines and a plethora of smart people put them here for a mission. The basis of the plot of the movie is that they went off mission. As a former Navy Damage Controllman, I can tell you now, that YOU FOLLOW ORDERS! You don't just get to take the ship on a joyride of your own making. I can't let that one go. Why would you risk the lives of all of the colonists to go off mission? Because you're an idiot!
• Screen Play- Assuming that one can suspend their disbelief in order to make it through the premise, the story line just falls apart for me on multiple levels.
• Basic stupidity of the crew (talked to death in the first bulletpoint!)
• Yeah, let's land on this crazy planet and NOT just send the expendable robot to check out the terrain and habitability. Let's send the whole crew!
• Crew begins to get infected and the TRAINED scientists and military people just scrap protocol and do what they want. BOOOOO! 
• There is no true creativity. This was a marketing ploy to rake in the dollars from the people who were looking forward to the next Ridley Scott/Alien extravaganza.
• The writing gave me no reason to CARE about the characters. I honestly didn't even mind that they were all dying.
• Pacing- At one point I actually checked to see the time because this movie drug on and carried my limp sleepy body with it into the awful transitions. There seemed to be no structure. It was hard to tell where I was supposed to be in my mind. By the second act, I assumed it was the third and was hoping for this ride to end. 

On a more personal note..... Hanging with two of my four this week. Dexter Morgan was extraordinarily clingy and Isabella was oddly playful. And of course, a pic of me being a kitty on snapchat!

Santa Clarita Diet

RATINGS

IMDB: 7.8

MY RATING: 7

GENERAL INFORMATION

First Episode Air Date: 3 Feb 2017 (Netflix)

Running Time: 30 Minutes each, 10 Episodes
Season One
Genre: Comedy, Horror
Staring: Drew Barrymore and Timothy Olyphant

Rating? TV-MW

SPOILERS? NO or YES

STORYLINE

Sheila and Joel are married real estate agents in Santa Clarita, CA. When Sheila does, their lives take a dark turn.

MY REVIEW

I must admit this, mostly for reassurance and less about judging me, but I watched the first episode and COULD NOT STOP. I finished the whole thing in the same day! This is brilliant. It's comedic and dark and each character develops in a way that is not only subtle but necessary. Yeah, there were a few pieces that annoyed me, but on the whole, this was a solid 7.

What I DID LIKE about this show:

• This is the perfect mix of Dexter meets Desperate Housewives. Love the idea!
• GORE!!

What I DID NOT LIKE about this show:

• The first few episodes are not as good as the last few, but i am okay with that since we really needed the first few to set up the characters and plots.
• Sometimes, they do over play the comedy aspect and end up losing the thing that was supposed to be funny in the first place.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

GENERAL INFORMATION

Release Info: 5 May 2017
     Lynnhaven AMC 18 7 May 2017

Director: James Gunn
Writer: James Gunn, Dan Abnett
Running Time: 2 Hours and 16 Minutes

Staring:  Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, Vin Diesel, Bradley Cooper, Michael Rooker and Karen Gillan

Rating? PG-13

SPOILERS? NO

REVIEWS

IMDB: 8.2 of 10

RT: 81% Critics; 90% Audience 
MY RATING: 6

STORYLINE

Set to the backdrop of 'Awesome Mixtape #2,' Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 continues the team's adventures as they traverse the outer reaches of the cosmos. The Guardians must fight to keep their newfound family together as they unravel the mysteries of Peter Quill's true parentage. Old foes become new allies and fan-favorite characters from the classic comics will come to our heroes' aid as the Marvel cinematic universe continues to expand. Written by Marvel Studios..

MY REVIEW

It's difficult to pinpoint why I just didn't feel this movie. It could possibly be that it was PG-13 and I typically HATE sitting in theaters with kids. This was part of the problem here too.

{Side Note- Dear Parents- If your kid cannot sit and enjoy the whole movie without you having to tell them to sit still and watch, kick my seat repeatedly or a hundred and fourteen other things that drive people crazy, DON'T BRING THEM!!}


This is a very by the book script. Nothing too big on the surprises or even the creativity. It just fell a little far from the mark for me. It was by no means a bad movie. It was entertaining and I liked it, but I didn't love it.

I think of it like this.. back in the day when a cassette tape came out there was an A side and a B side. Everyone loved the A side. It had all of the best songs. All of the best lyrics. Every song was a sing-a-long classic. Then there were the B sides. They were typically not your first choice, but they were from your favorite band, so you tried. You listen a few times and wait. Listen a few more and wait a little longer. But they just weren't as good as the A side. That's how I feel about this movie. It's the B side of the original. I wanted to like it more than I did. I gave it a good and decent shot. It was just a B side movie.

What I DID LIKE about this movie:

• The Music! There was not one song that I was not tapping my foot along with. 
• Baby Groot! When last we saw Groot, he was in a flower pot dancing along to the music. He's the star of this movie of me. Beginning scenes showcase all that I love about Groot.

What I DID NOT LIKE about this movie:

• Plot- A little heavy handed on the "Family is important" kick for me. Leaving ghee whole subplot when a family member betrays one of the characters a little outside of the ballpark. The plot was just below average.

On a more personal note..... Had some sweet kitty time today with three of the 4 bears. Dexter, Rocket and Isabella were super friendly. Jinx not pictured as he was more concerned with trying to escape into the backyard.

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