Don't Kill It

GENERAL INFORMATION

Release Info: 3 March 2017 (Netflix)

Genre:Action, Comedy, Fantasy
Director:Mike Mendez
Writer: Dan Berk and Robert Olsen
Running Time: 83 Minutes

Staring: Dolph Lundgren, Kristina Klebe and a cast of people that I've never heard of and I'm sure you haven't either!

Rating? UNRATED (For a reason)

SPOILERS? YES

REVIEWS

IMDB: 5.2 of 10

MY RATING: 4 of 10

STORYLINE

When an ancient demon is accidentally unleashed in the sparsely populated Mississippi town of Chickory Creek.

MY REVIEW

You know, when there is an UNRATED straight to Netflix movie and I tell myself, "Self, go ahead, they can't be all bad!" I should go ahead and kick myself in the face! I gave one point for Dolph Lundgren and his old ass attempting to be a sexy demon hunter and one additional point for it being JUST stupid enough to be amusing enough to watch until the end. To be honest, it wasn't THAT horrible. It was not pretending to be anything that it was not. It was corny and the dialogue was horrible.

SPOILERS BELOW!!

Let's start with the idea that the main character, played with the devotion of an emotionless automaton by Dolph Lundgren was named JEBEDIAH! The premise is pretty simple. Demon is unleash on a small Mississippi town and when it is killed it takes the body of the one who killed it, hence the title "Don't Kill It." Seems like the writer just took some old myths from the 1500's and injected the plot of Fallen and added a sprinkle of Dolph and a few well endowed actresses and voila!

What I DID LIKE about this movie:

• Bloody violent. Yeah, you heard me. THAT is what I liked about this movie. Mainly because everything else was so mediocre.

What I DID NOT LIKE about this movie:

• Cheesy one-liners galore and most of them fell flat.
• What about that ending? Really
• Hire a technical consultant! I mean seriously, In the first act of the movie, one of the actors is submersed in boiling water and immediately is showing bubbles and boils. Yeah, that's not gonna happen at all!

On a more personal note..... 

Pretty cute pic of Dexter Morgan and Lord Oliver.... AND BRAVES win 2018 NL East!! 

Terrifier

GENERAL INFORMATION

Release Info: 15 March 2018

Genre: Horror, Thriller
Writer and Director: Damien Leone
Running Time: 82 minutes

Staring: Jenna Kanell, Samantha Scaffidi and David Howard Thornton

Rating? UNRATED

SPOILERS? NO 

REVIEWS

IMDB: 5 (almost 6) of 10

MY RATING: 5 of 10

STORYLINE

A maniacal clown terrorizes three young women on Halloween night and everyone else who stands in his way.

MY REVIEW

It's flawed, but it's not pretending to be something that it's not. It's a hack-'em-up blood-and-guts horror movie with At the Clown. We were introduced to Art in the 2013 movie All Hallows Eve from the same writer/director. He's a weird and creepy evil mime/clown. It's low budget, it's gruesome and it's pretty disturbing which all work for me. a few things that I didn't care for, hence the 5 of 10 rating. It's torture porn.

What I DID LIKE about this movie:

• COSTUME DESIGN- Michelle Gianchetti and Elisa Vecchio were the two responsible for Art the Clown as well as the rest of the make up and for such a small resume, they were responsible for what I thought was the best part of the movie.
• CINEMATOGRAPHY- Camera angles, wide shots of the gore and torture. Good show!
• SET DESIGN- Excellent!

What I DID NOT LIKE about this movie:

• DIRECTION- Yeah, it could have been better. I think some of the acting was sub-par and the scenes could have been more cohesive, but it's not supposed to win an Oscar.
• WRITING- This movie seriously needed some additional writing. There was not really a plot, but in this genre, you really don't NEED one. It's cliche. 
• SCORE/SOUNDTRACK- not memorable. 
• EDITING- So, there were some scenes that just didn't work, I think it could have just been the editing where the continuity was off.

On a more personal note..... 

Selfie with my "solar System" necklace. Rocket J. loves the new shower curtain in the hall bathroom. He just sits there and hides underneath. Strange kitten! AND I tried to wear some ridiculously tall platform wedges at work. I lasted most fo the day. Glad I brought my back up flats!

Predator

GENERAL INFORMATION

Release Info: 14 September 2018

Director: Shane Black
Writer: Fred Dekker and Shane Black
Running Time: 1 Hour and 47 Minutes

Staring: Boyd Holbrook, Trevante Rhodes, Jacob Tremblay, Keegan-Michael Key, Olivia Munn, Sterling K. Brown, Thomas Jane and Alfie Allen

Rating? R

SPOILERS? Not Really, hints, not Spoilers

REVIEWS

IMDB: 6 of 10

MY RATING: 5

STORYLINE

From the outer reaches of space to the small-town streets of suburbia, the hunt comes home. Now, the universe's most lethal hunters are stronger, smarter and deadlier than ever before, having genetically upgraded themselves with DNA from other species. When a young boy accidentally triggers their return to Earth, only a ragtag crew of ex-soldiers and a disgruntled science teacher can prevent the end of the human race.

MY REVIEW

You know what? This was a fun movie. When you take out the things that were not realistic and JUST look at the movie for what it is.. a Predator movie, it's okay. There were definitely some things that I just sat there and shook my head through and a few bits that as a prior military member, I absolutely could not get past. All in all, it was good.

Would I pay to see it in the theaters? Not really. Wait until it comes out on Netflix or HBO and watch there.

What I DID LIKE about this movie:

• GET TO THE CHOPPER! Oh my goodness, when you hear and see this in the movie, you will laugh at the homage to the original. It was pretty dumb, but it was awesome!
• LARGER PREDATOR- Yes please. I did quite enjoy the idea of a predator hierarchy in the world where they live. It was an interesting plot device. Quite possibly the only one that made sense.
• HUMAN DNA? It was pretty obvious in the story so it's not much of a spoiler. It makes sense since they are supposedly hunting here on earth for the last 30+ years. It's a good idea for a future story. I'd watch that movie.

What I DID NOT LIKE about this movie:

• HUMOR- I get it, the writer/director Shane Black was best known for Lethal Weapon, the Nice Guys, Iron Man 3 and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. It's Predator. It's not supposed to be that humorous.
• MILITARY CONSULTANT? Seriously, as a prior service member, I just lost it a few times with some of the ridiculous things. Please PLEASE hire a military specialist next time you want  to make a movie Mr. Black? The basics- (1) No hats inside buildings. (2) Military guys cannot have shaggy hair. (3) If a bunch of military guys are murdered by a supposed crazy person, there WILL be an investigation. (4) Who the hell was firing at the good guys? Storm Troopers? They missed every shot!
• THE BASICS- You could have spent the money you saved on a military consultant to hire an acting coach.
• STORY- The story was unrealistic and the plot seemed to be lacking any consistent thematic decision making. I think I've seen this movie before, but it was called RoboCop 3.
• THE PREDATOR- When did it become so easy to defeat a predator? I remember it took Arnie and like 8 others to beat one back in the day. Now he can be defeated in 2 hours by a mental patient and a few of his buddies?
• PREDATOR DOGS? Okay, please tell me that I am not the only one who thought this was going to be freaking awesome? I had good feels when I saw the  trailer. But what I ended up with was a really bad CGI morphed dog that was intensely overdone. All II could see while they were on screen were the stupid demon dogs from Ghostbusters, you know.. Zuul the Gatekeeper and Vinz Clortho the Keymaster, loyal minions of Gozer the Gozerian.  

What QUESTIONS do I now have?

• Why was the kid working for the Client/Space Force/Military? Isn't he like 10? Shouldn't he be in school instead of working?
• I don't understand Olivia Munn's character? So, she wrote a letter about aliens and now she's a biologist that they picked to help understand alien tech?  
• Why was the interior light on in the military bus while they were driving?
• Why were the crazies in the bus in civvies and not in uniform? I've got some inside information that YOU STILL HAVE TO WEAR a uniform while you are in psych hold.

On a more personal note..... 

Worked on a new piece of art, Finished Friday night after the movie. Rocket and Isabella were absolutely adorable!

The Nun

GENERAL INFORMATION

Release Info: 7 Sept 2018

Director: Corin Hardy
Writer:Gary Dauberman and James Wan
Running Time: 1 Hour and 36 Minutes

Staring:Demián Bichir, Taissa Farmiga and Jonas Bloquet

Rating? R

SPOILERS? NO- ish

REVIEWS

IMDB: 6.1 of 10

MY RATING: 3

STORYLINE

A priest with a haunted past and a novice on the threshold of her final vows are sent by the Vatican to investigate the death go a young nun in Romania and confront a malevolent force in the form of a demonic nun.

MY REVIEW

I think the Conjuring follow-on's are getting a little overboard. I mean, how many more can they really get in there with the ridiculous antics of Ed and Lorraine Warren. I'm all for a good scary movie, but when so meany people take the words that the filmmakers say in these as gospel and fail to research this duo of duplicity and know that they are frauds and have been debunked a number of times.

That being said, lets get back to the movie itself. It's not a great or even unique story. It's not great acting or cinematography. It's bland at best. It's lacking a certain joie de vivre that usually comes with a James Wan film.

What is it that makes a horror movie great.. we need to be gradually brought into the world and be given a well crafted tension that does not reveal too much that sets up a compelling dramatic conclusion. This film brings none of that to me life.

What I DID LIKE about this movie:

• Setting- It's sad when the best thing that I have to say about a movie is that the set decorations were pretty stellar. I loved the look of the Romanian castle. The oddly satisfying amount of crosses in some scenes was pretty unsettlingly perfect.
• Twist- There was a little twist, LITTLE. By no means enough to save this film.

What I DID NOT LIKE about this movie:

• STOP SHOWING ME THE DEMON!! Come on, this is rule Number 1! The more you show the bad thing, the less power it has!
• Plot- What plot. It just feels like someone threw a bunch of plot ideas on the floor, gathered them and made a movie.
• Jump Scares- typically, I do love a good jump scare. This is just missing the whole point here. Yes, there are jump scares but my issue is that they are too obvious and not scary enough to hold their own. It felt like the jump scares were placed to keep the watcher from being g bored to death at times.
• Writing- The dialogue is a MESS!

On a more personal note..... 

I painted a set of Storm Trooper/Kiss pieces that will eventually go into the living room.  Rocket and Dexter were pretty amazingly adorable! I played on SnapChat and pretended to be a cat!!